The Necronomicon: The Wanderings of Alhazred, Donald Tyson
Llewellyn Publications, 2004

Let me first preface this review by stating that a recreation of the Necronomicon is a monumentally difficult task. This book has been the subject of countless novels, movies and even video games. It is no small task to try to recreate the dread and horror associated with the Necronomicon. I dare say that the difficultly associated with this rivals or even goes beyond the difficulty in writing the “Great American Novel”.

I admire Tyson’s attempt in trying to write a Necronomicon. However, his attempt is clumsy and ends up being more of a “Goosebumps” novel rather then a grimoire.

This isn’t to say that the book is unlikable. In its own way, the character of Alhazred is whimsically amusing. However, whimsy, with very little exception, is never appropriate in a book associated with the oblivion of sanity and the opening of gates to unspeakable places.

His primary error is over anthropomorphizing the Old Ones. The Old Ones are supposed to be incomprehensible to the human mind, unspeakable and maddening to the soul. However, his rendition of them is little more than very miffed Greek Gods. Nyarlathotep is the subject of primary abuse in this regard. He has been magically transformed by Tyson from “The Crawling Chaos” to “The Strolling Goth”. He emotionally waxes and wanes from melancholically contemplative to wryly amused, and walks about dressed in a long black hooded cloak. Nyarlathotep IS the Goth One.

Tyson forgot the ultimate lesson that both Hitchcock and Lovecraft taught us: that the most horrifying things are left unknown and determined by the individual’s imagination. He forgets this and even goes so far as to tell us how you can’t see the penis of a male Old One because it’s hidden like a fish’s or a reptile’s.

This brings me to my next point. He mentions one too many times how the Old Ones love to mate with human women. The only exception, of course, is Shub-Niggurath, who loves to get it on with the guys. Why do we need to know this over and over again? It’s not quite hentai, but it does come off as being rather odd. I can understand that he might have been making a point that there are those among us who are part monster and part human, but this point can be sufficiently made once.

Another problem was that this book was less about the worship of the Old Ones and more about the neighbors of the Old Ones. He goes into great detail about what goes on in different cities and among different people who happen to worship the Old Ones. Although grimoires can be somewhat rambling in style, they are, nonetheless, notebooks of magical method. The style of the book comes off less the ramblings of a madman about how to open forbidden gates to the unspeakable places, and more the travelogue of the slightly amused wizard who delights in nibbling on bugs and dead people.

And then, we have the attempts at cleverness. He tries very hard at certain points to be witty. He describes, for example, a sickness of the blood which causes people to lose their hair after being exposed to this strange light which we can only assume is a reference to radiation poisoning. But the worst was when he goes to describe the taste of human flesh and mentions that someone else said that it tasted like “barnyard fowl”. Yes, he means to imply that the other person said that it tasted like chicken. These witticisms are cute, but I somehow doubt that the Necronomicon was meant to have cute moments. Unless, of course, the horror of the Necronomicon was that it was a Sanrio catalogue and Cthulhu was actually Keroppi, which IS pretty unspeakable.

Tyson’s final flaw consists of using a formulaic phrase over and over again. On more than one occasion, Tyson’s Alhazred says something to the tune of “One normally couldn’t do [insert task here], but for one who studies the necromantic arts, they can!” This formula was repeated to the point that I began using it in day to day conversation. “You can’t normally use double coupons here, but for one who studies the necromantic arts, you can use TRIPLE coupons!”

Despite all this, the book is still likable. It may inspire you on some level to work with the Cthulhu mythos. However, from a practical standpoint, there are numerous other books that are far more useful and beneficial for this purpose. The Pseudonomicon is one such book, and even Simon’s Necronomicon has a greater element of terror and pragmatic magical application than Tyson’s.

What I do find interesting in all this is the fact that Tyson wrote and Llewellyn decided to publish something considered “left hand path” like the Necronomicon. Does this imply that the Cthulhu mythos has strengthened to the point that its dark allure draws even those who are attracted to the light? Or that it is so hackneyed that its power to horrify has extinguished and its mention is merely a source of amusement?

An average writer would attempt to reconcile this question. But for one who studies the necromantic arts, he doesn’t have to!